ichibeifamily | (no subject)

(no subject)

WHO: Ichibei + Aristophanes + Whoever tho
WHERE: Aristophanes
OPEN/CLOSED: OPEN
WHEN: Late morning

[okay so they have made themselves look as PRESENTABLE AS POSSIBLE as you can when you know, several of you have been injured and no one has had a bath since new years and your clothes were shit to begin with.

They are not even trying to be subtle as they head into Aristophane's territory boldly. Or at least, Chain isn't.]

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Exactly!

. . .

Anyway, why're you here?

To seduce ladies and get some decent clothes to do it in.

Well, you've come to the right place! When it comes to pants that'll look even better on the floor, we're your guys.

So...as for payment, what're you looking to offer?

[holds up a bottle of booze]

[considers this]

...I guess you can get some pants with that. Shirts, shoes, jackets, and fancy underwear'll be extra, though.

Let's see what you have before I decide what it's worth, okay?

Guests aren't allowed in the warehouse. Safety first, and all. If there're some specifics you're looking for, we might have some samples, though.

Bring me something in Ichibei's colors then. I can't buy it without knowing what you have.

[considers this]

Okay. Give me fifteen minutes. I'll ready a presentation.

We'll stay put.

[He runs off, then as promised, he returns! He lays out three sets of clothing on a convenient nearby stall:

1) a t-shirt and slacks. The styling is classic (read: unexciting) and they look pretty discount store quality (or lack thereof), but they will keep you from being naked if nothing else.
2) a navy suit jacket with sleek aqua pinstripes. Well-made and you'll look mafia-chic--from the waist up, at least.
3) a delicate lace bra and panty set. It isn't top-quality lace, but that's not top-shelf booze, and either way, it shouldn't be too itchy. The aqua lace is threaded with shimmering blue piping on the outer edging, a little glam without being too hoochie.]

Your bottle can get you any one of these three. I figure this's a good representation of what we can offer, whether you're looking for value options, quality, or style.

Eh~? Maybe we should bring Levi a pair of these~

[cheerfully inspecting the lingerie]

[they seem less like the sorts of thing you would want to wear all day to work, but then you probably wouldn't be wearing them all that long anyway, if all goes well]

I thought those might be to your taste. They layer pretty well, too.

Okay, sold. Lady's lingerie for lazy Levi~! For everyone else I need a full set of the basics, throw in some basic underwear!

And since we're buying in bulk you'll give us a discount, right?

We don't generally do bulk discounts, but just for you, I'll throw in those undies for free. Or for just a bottle more, you can upgrade, something the boys'll really appreciate.

I'll take the basics, as cute as my entire family on lingerie would be, Levi won't feel special if I get it for everyone.

Instead for an extra bottle you can throw in a couple of those jackets, okay? Remember we're going to be returning customers!

For an extra bottle I can throw in one jacket. You are welcome to return for more at any time.

Seven bottles of decent stuff and you get one lingerie set, five basic sets of clothes, free tightie-whities, and one incredibly swank jacket. If you don't like the terms, you can try hashing things out with one of my teammates but I can promise they'll be tougher to deal with.

Alright, alright. Deal. Any preference on wine or the harder stuff?

Let's mix it up! A red and a white, and then a variety of liquors as well. If that works for you, at least.

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